Restricted
by cirobert
Summary: Castiel is usually very happy with his life on earth and with his vessel Jimmy. But some times he just feels the need to stretch his wings...
1. Chapter 1

**1**

This just wasn't Castiel's day. He had been groggy coming out of his overnight trance, the Winchesters were bitchy with not only each other but him as well, then their case had taken an extremely wrong turn. Now as Cas looked throughout a room full of demons he had just had enough.

"Close your eyes!" He shouted to the Winchesters who for once did as he commanded and closed their eyes sinking to the floor and covering their heads. Castiel saw the realization of what was coming cross the demons faces but before any of them could smoke out he released his true form and smote them all. When he pulled himself back into his vessel he felt the immediate restrictions on his form.

"Cas?" Dean's voice asked from the floor where he still had his eyes closed.

"You can open your eyes now." Cas said and even he heard how tired he sounded. He wanted to sink to the floor and rest his head on his knees but he could't show that kind of weariness in front of the brothers. He knew they wouldn't judge him for it but it was a sign of weakness he did not want to display.

"Wow Cas, didn't even leave us one." Dean said looking around at the empty vessels.

"Sorry, I shall endeavour to leave you some entertainment next time we encounter a multitude of demons." Cas said dryly. The brothers exchanged a look that said they knew something was amiss with the angel.

"Come on, we need to find the girl." he said bypassing any 'chick flick' moments as Dean called them.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

The next few days were no better for Castiel and he begrudgingly admitted to himself the problem. He wanted to stretch, he needed to leave his vessel and be himself for a while. But of course the Winchesters were on another case and he didn't have the chance to do that. This one was a nest of vampires that were hunting the local teenagers for new recruits. Cas trailed along behind the brothers as they did their investigation even though he was short with them and their questions.

When the located the nest Castiel let himself break loose a little and fought hand to hand with the vampires while Dean and Sam looked on. He single handedly took down fifteen vampires with out so much as getting a scratch himself. When it was done the room filled with silence.

"Cas?" Sam asked as the angel straightened his coat.

"Its done, find the children." Cas said walking out of the building. The night air was cool and he closed his eyes to let it fill his lungs.

"Cas? Whats going on man?" Dean's voice came from over his shoulder. Cas took a deep breath at the intrusion. Normally Dean would be the one person who made him happy but not today.

"Nothing is wrong Dean. Did you locate the victims?" Castiel asked turning to look at the human. He was watching Cas carefully and his face was filled with concern.

"Uh yeah, Sammy is taking care of them now. And don't tell me nothing. Something is obviously up." Dean said placing his hand on Cas's shoulder.

"Please don't touch me right now Dean." Cas said pulling away. The weight of Dean's hand slid away but Cas still felt like he was being weighed down.

"Cas, now I know something's up. Talk to me buddy." Dean pleaded.

"Hey guys, the kids called the cops and they're on the way. We should get out of here now." Sam said coming closer to them and looking between them both.

"Of course Sam." Cas said and headed towards the Impala.


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

"No." Dean's voice was resolute and he had his arms crossed as he glared at the angel.

"No?" Cas asked him.

"No Cas, I ain't going one more step with you until you tell me whats wrong." Dean said angrily. Sam was standing behind him looking less angry but just as concerned. Castiel sighed and sank down on the motel sofa. A spring poked into his backside and he adjusted his position.

"I am…uncomfortable." Cas admitted. Both men just continued to look at him.

"What do you mean uncomfortable? Was it something we did?" Sam asked.

"No, of course not Sam." Cas shook his head.

"Then what?" Dean pressed.

"My vessel feels more restrictive then usual. I believe I need to be in my true form for a short while." Cas tried to explain.

"Ok so you need to break out of the cage for a while. No big deal." Dean shrugged.

"Yes Dean, it is a big deal. Because my vessel no longer contains Jimmy Novak if I leave it then it will be just a body. There is no insurance that nothing will happen to it while I am stretching myself." Cas said.

"Oh." Sam said while Dean got a thinking little scrunch between his eyes.

"So? We'll just watch ol' Jimmy for you while you fly free for a while." Dean shrugged.

"Its not that simple Dean. If you were to be there while I exited my vessel you would be exposed to my true form and be hurt." Cas explained.

"Oh, well." Dean said uncrossing his arms and sinking down into a chair at the cracked linoleum table in the room.

"There has to be something we can do to help Cas. Maybe let you free your body and then we can step in and take care of Jimmy?" Sam offered picking his laptop out of his bag.

"And how will you know when I want to return?" Cas pointed out.

"Damn." Sam sighed.

"Just, give us a chance to look around Cas, maybe we can come up with a solution. And if worse comes to worse then take your meatsuit to the top of Everest and fly free. No one will take him there." Dean smirked.

"No but leaving him at the top of a mountain will certainly have detrimental effects on his skin and circulatory system while I am gone." Cas shook his head.

"Just give us some time Cas, we'll see if we can help." Sam said and started typing into his laptop. Cas sighed and rested his head back against the sofa.


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

"Looks like we need to talk to Crowley." Sam said as they sat in yet another motel room after yet another hunt. Cas was becoming more and more snarky so Sam had stepped up his research.

"Ugh, not that bastard." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Why would we need the King of Hell?" Cas asked.

"Because we need an ingredient for a spell that can only be found in Hell. And its easier to deal with Crowley then storm the place looking for it." Sam explained.

"What ingredient?" Castiel asked.

"Uh…let just say Crowley's pet Juliet is the only one that can give it to us." Sam started to blush a little.

"What the hell does that mean Sam?" Dean asked.

"We need an unfertilized egg from a female Hell hound." Cas said and Dean choked on his beer.

"How did you know that?" Sam asked.

"I think I know the spell you're looking into Sam. It a very old spell and I've never heard of it succeeding." Cas sighed. "Maybe this is pointless. Why should we deal with a demon when we don't even know if it'll work."

"Don't give up on us yet Cas." Dean said patting his shoulder but pulling away quickly.

"I can not ask you to do this." Cas said.

"Thats where you're lucky we like you angel, you don't have to ask." Dean smiled at his friend.


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

"Hello boys." the elegant accented voice of the King of Hell crossed the space between the devil's trap and where Dean and Sam were staring at Crowley.

"Crowley." Castiel said politely. They were asking for his help after all, it just seemed right to treat him politely.

"What do you want now?" Crowley asked cutting through his usual banter.

"We need something that you can get us." Dean said.

"I gathered." Crowley rolled his eyes.

"I need an unfertilized hell hound egg." Cas said and Crowley swung his gaze to the angel.

"You do do you?" Crowley said but Cas knew that in his mind he was running through all the spells or potions that would use that ingredient.

"We want to make a deal Crowley. But no souls." Dean said.

"I'll only deal with the angel on this one Squirrel." Crowley said not taking his eyes from Castiel's.

"What? Why?" Dean sputtered.

"You have nothing I want boy. The angel does." Crowley gave Dean a withering look.

"What do you want in exchange?" Castiel asked.

"One of your feathers." Crowley said and the brothers fell quiet.

"No." Castiel said and his hope diminished of ever getting to fly free again.

"Alright then, let me go." Crowley shrugged his shoulders.

"Wait, wait, wait." Dean said stepping closer to them. "Why do you want his feather?"

"The same reason you want one of my Juliet's eggs, a spell." he said.

"What kind of spell? How can we trust that you won't use it against him?" Sam asked joining the conversation.

"Because an angel feather is harmless to the angel it comes from Moose." Crowley sneered.

"Its true, my own feather wouldn't be able to be used in a spell against me." Cas agreed.

"Then why do you want it?" Dean asked again. Castiel though was already running through his own internal spell book.

"You plan to sell it don't you?" Cas asked.

"You have no idea how much an authentic angel feather could get me boys." Crowley actually grinned at the idea.

"On one condition." Castiel said surprising the brothers.

"Which is?"

"You must wait at least 200 years before putting the feather on the market." Cas said and Crowley narrowed his eyes at him.

"200 years is a long time even to the King of Hell." he said.

"That's my condition." Cas replied. Crowley thought it over and nodded his agreement. He snapped his fingers and a jar appeared in his fingers.

"One unfertilized hell hound egg." he said twirling the jar in his palm.

Everyone watched as Castiel went into the other room and came back a few minutes later holding one shiny black feather. He went to Crowley for the exchange.

"Nice doing business with you feathers." Crowley said as Castiel wiped away the edge of the devil's trap. Then he was gone and the boys let out the breath he was holding.

"Why 200 years?" Sam was the first to ask. Castiel actually smiled and that was rare.

"Our feathers are a lot like bird feathers Sam, we go through moulting and the discarded feathers can't just be laying around for anyone to pick up. So once a feather leaves the wings it will only hold power for 100 human years. In 200 years Crowley will be left with something with no more angelic power then a rock." he explained. Dean let out an explosive laugh and Sam chuckled.

"I gather Crowley doesn't know that?" Dean asked clapping Cas on the back.

"No one does besides angels." Cas was still grinning.


	6. Chapter 6

**6**

The rest of the spell ingredients were easier to come by and by the end of the week Cas was sitting in the back seat of the Impala as they drove to a park in the Rockies. They would hike into the mountains and the boys would perform the spell then watch over Cas's body while he flew. Luckily at this time of years traffic in the park was at a bare minimum.

Dean didn't care for the hiking but Cas and Sam were quite enjoying the trip. It was freeing to be in the woods doing something other then hunting. It took them a total of three nights to reach an acceptable peak and by then Dean was too tired to even complain.

"Lets wait until night fall. That way we can make sure there aren't any camp fires nearby." Sam suggested. Castiel agreed even though he was thrumming in anticipation. Dean had never seen his eyes so brilliantly blue and his enthusiasm caught on. Dean didn't even complain when they put up the tent.

"I will get you some dinner." Castiel said before disappearing. The flutter of wings signalled his return and he surprised the boys with a large multi course meal.

"Wow Cas." Sam said as he took the salad out of its high quality packaging.

"I thought I would thank you for your assistance. I do not know how I would have come this far without you." Cas said honestly as Dean dug in to his burger. It might have been from a fancy restaurant but Castiel knew his human well.

"No need for that Cas, you're family. Of course we'd do everything we could to help." Dean mumbled between bites.

"Thank you Dean." Cas grinned. He went a little ways away from the brothers as they ate to watch the stars come out. They were one of the best creations of his Father and Castiel often lamented the fact that they are mostly obscured in the cities they visited.

"You ready Cas?" Dean asked coming up behind the angel. Cas looked over at Dean and gave him one of those stares that Sam rolled his eyes at. Castiel loved this human and he could not pin down why. Sure Dean was very handsome, his hunting skills were extraordinary, he had courage, loyalty, brilliance and a purity that Castiel had yet to see in another soul. But that wasn't why he loved Dean. He just loved Dean for Dean.

"Yes, I am ready." he said breaking the stare as Dean began to blush. It brought out his freckles even more and Cas enjoyed the flush on his skin.

"Sam is setting the spell up now, come on." Dean said turning away before he did something he wasn't comfortable doing yet.

They walked back to the little camp fire Sam had started and saw that the youngest Winchester was just finishing the mixing.

"Alright Cas, I have no idea what'll happen once I finish the spell so maybe you'd better go off a little?" Sam asked and Castiel nodded. He knew what the spell was supposed to do but who could say if it would actually work like it was supposed to. He still had reservations about the whole thing but no one on earth could talk a Winchester out of an idea.

Castiel waited as he looked back at the brothers who were working the spell. Already his body was tingling all over which gave him hope of success. With one final flourish and a clue of smoke the brothers looked up at Cas to gasp.

"Sam, are you…" Dean was swatting at his brother's arm while Castiel looked at them curiously.

"Wow…just wow…" Sam said in awe.

"I assume the spell worked?" Cas asked over the distance. Both brothers began to nod eagerly.

"I don't understand what I'm seeing." Dean admitted unable to take his eyes off the angel.

"You are looking at my true form Dean. While I am still in Jimmy's body you are able to see my true form underneath the vessel. Please turn around while I exit my vessel please, it is a rather intimate act." Castiel actually blushed. Dean gave him a wink before turning and Cas chuckled.

Castiel exited his vessel quickly, letting his true form out and letting his wings spread wide. With one thrust of his powerful wings he flew into the sky making his way nearer to the stars.


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

"He's magnificent." Sam said in awe as they watched Castiel fly into the night sky. His brilliance could easily be mistaken for a shooting star if the boys hadn't been under the spell that let them handle his true form without harm. Right now they stood in the middle of their camp site watching the angel play in the stars.

They had gotten Jimmy and put him in the tent while Cas was out. He would be warm and safe while unoccupied. Dean stared at the angel in the sky with his mouth open and a look of pure adoration in his eyes. Sam smiled to himself.

"He really is the size of the Chrysler building." Dean chuckled.

Cas's real form was something Dean was struggling to put into words. He didn't have a form, not like a humanoid form or anything but reminded Dean of the little ball of light that hid the form of the fairy that had attacked him. He could make out a wavy form but the more he concentrated on it the wavier it got. But Castiel's wings were plainly clear and Dean's fingers twitched with the desire to touch them. They were huge! Large, powerful and so inky black that they reflected the stars in the sky. Cas used them easily to fly around the sky and Dean envied him deeply. How amazing would it be to fly like that?

"I wonder how long he'll want to be up there?" Sam wondered out loud.

"If I was him I'd never come back." Dean said.

"Dude, put it back in your pants." Sam teased his brother. Dean blushed and shoved at his baby brother.

"I can't help it, he's so awesome Sam. Who in their right mind would ever want to be stuck in these pathetic little things when they could be…that!" Dean continued.

"Just goes to show how much he's sacrificed to stay with you." Sam glanced sideways at Dean.

"With us." Dean corrected not taking his eyes off the angel.

"With you Dean." Sam shook his head. Dean looked over at him with a scowl.

"Don't start that shit now Sammy." he grumbled finally walking to the fire.

"If I can't start it now when can I start it?" Sam asked honestly curious.

"Sam please." Dean sighed running his hand over his face wearily. Sam was like a broken record on this.

"He loves you Dean. Sure he likes me well enough but he's here for you you idiot. All that power, all the magnificence, its all yours for the taking." Sam passed Dean a beer from the cooler.

"Sam…"

"You're just too much of a chicken shit to take it."

"Sam!" Dean shouted but Sam didn't care. He wouldn't relent this time.

"He's head over heels in love with you Dean and you're hung up on whats between his legs. Do you have any idea what I'd give to have someone who placed my life in the centre of their existence? I'd kill for that." Sam said. For once Dean wasn't just telling him to shut up.

"If you don't do something to show that angel you love him Dean he's going to leave. He's already showed us he's feeling restricted in his vessel, do you think he's so eager to stay just because he likes us as friends?" Sam went on.

"I know Sammy, I know." Dean said into his hands. And he did know. But how did he get over the fact that not only was Cas a guy but he was an angel to boot.

"Just suck it up and say something you idjit." Sam said in an imitation of Bobby that made Dean laugh.

"I'll get there Sam." Dean sighed looking up at Castiel enjoying the night sky.


	8. Chapter 8

**8**

Castiel hadn't felt this happy in centuries. Being restricted to a vessel had given him a new respect and appreciation for him true form. He stretched his wings wide and enjoyed the feeling of the wind on his feathers. The stars were brilliant in the inky sky and the cool air intertwined with his molecules pleasantly. He took a chance to look back at the brothers every once in a while and saw the sheer awe in their eyes. It made him preen a little to know they finally truly saw him for what he was. He wasn't Jimmy, he wasn't human, he wasn't a tool for them to use in their fight against evil. He was a true Angel of the Lord.

He spent the next few hours of the night just soaring to his delight. He made his way from one end of the sky to the other and when the sun began to rise he chased the sunbeams like a cat. He stayed in his true form until the sun crested the horizon and then he made his way back to the Winchesters.

The brothers were making breakfast as he came closer to their camp site. He flew over them lazily knowing they couldn't see him as well in the sunlight as they had been able to in the dark. Plus the spell only lasted a few hours so soon he needed to be back in Jimmy or he risked harming them. He had already overdone it on the timing so with one last surge of his wings he flew to the tent and settled himself back into his vessel.

He sat up and shrugged to readjust to the size difference but he found he didn't find his vessel as restrictive as it had been before. Having a night free was exactly what he needed. Instead of telling the brothers he was back he lay back on the sleeping bag and lay on his arms. It was nice here, the sounds of humanity gone and replaced by nature. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the quiet.


	9. Chapter 9

**9**

"I think he's back." Sam said as the tent lit up from inside. The light only lasted a minute and then it died down to its normal shadows. They waited for Cas to emerge but he didn't.

"You think he's ok?" Sam asked Dean as he stared at the tent.

"Yeah, probably just wants some time alone." Dean shrugged. He put some bacon on a plate and headed towards the tent.

"Hey Cas, you alright?" Dean asked poking his head in the tent to see the angel stretched out and relaxing. He had a wide grin on his face and he positively glowed.

"Yes Dean, I'm better then alright." he said grinning even wider to show his teeth and create those crinkles around his eyes that Dean thought were adorable.

"I brought you some bacon…cause…well…bacon." Dean said realizing that he had forgotten that Cas didn't eat.

"Thank you Dean, I think I'd enjoy some food today." Cas said sitting up and taking the plate from Dean. Their fingers brushed and Cas dropped the plate with a shiver.

"Uh, Cas, you ok?" Dean asked watching the flush that rushed up Cas's neck and ears.

"I'm sorry Dean, but being free of my vessel means that for the next few hours I will be extra sensitive to certain sensations." Cas said flushing and looking away.

"Like?" Dean asked coming into the tent fully and sitting by Cas.

"My sense of touch will be heightened to almost my full strength, my taste will be more human then normal…" Cas trailed off as Dean brushed his hand across Cas's forehead where a lock of his hair had fallen.

"You know Cas there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now." Dean found himself saying even though he had no intention when he had come into the tent. Now, seeing Cas all flushed and happy he decided to take Sam's advice and man up.

"What is it Dean?" Castiel asked nuzzling into Dean's palm almost without thought.

"I…I…" Dean hesitated. As much as he did feel this way towards Cas he still wasn't 100% sure his feelings would be returned. And then he'd ruin his friendship with the angel and he's probably flee back to heaven as fast as his wings could take him.

"Dean?" Cas asked looking into the green eyes of the human. Those penetrating blue eyes flicked over Dean's face making his heart rate increase.

"I love you Cas." Dean said finally.


	10. Chapter 10

**10**

"You do?" Cas looked at Dean like he was a knight in shining armour but he didn't say anything more.

"Yeah, I do." Dean said beginning to get nervous. Did he just screw everything up like he always did?

Without another word Castiel grabbed Dean's face in his hands and kissed him soundly. Dean closed his eyes and focused completely on the man he loved. His lips were clumsy and wet but he didn't care at all. He let his hands rest of Cas's chest while he kissed him back with all the years of pent up feelings. Soon their kiss changed from tentative to down right dirty. Tongues were rubbing together and licking into each others mouths while Cas let out a deep keening noise. Finally when Dean was about to pass out he pulled back to take in a deep gasping breath.

"Dean, I have loved you since the moment I saw your battered soul in Hell. I have loved you through all your stubbornness, all your anger, all your sadness and all your pathetic attempts to push me away. I will always love you Dean Winchester." Castiel said locking eyes with Dean. Dean, despite his best efforts, could feel his eyes begin to tear up and he let out a shaky laugh.

"Good, because I think I'd have to throw myself off one of these mountain tops if you didn't." he smirked while Cas was peppering his face with kisses. A gentle chuckle escaped against Dean's cheek.

"What made you finally say it?" Cas asked pulling back enough to just look at Dean.

"I…I saw you." he said shyly looking towards his lap. He really wasn't good at all this feely stuff.

"My true form." Cas said pulling back slightly.

"Yeah. I mean I always knew you were this powerful thing but last night I saw you. And you were magnificent. But more then that you were free. I guess it just hit me how much you really have sacrificed to stay here with us, with me. And I just want you to know I don't appreciate it." Dean tried to explain but by the look on Cas's face he wasn't doing a very good job.

"What?" Dean asked putting his hand on Cas's cheek.

"You love me because I'm powerful? Because you've seen what I truly am." Castiel said.

"Oh come on Cas, no its not that. It just made me stop and really think about why you would give up all that, your wings, your power, just to slum it here on earth with me to kill monsters." Dean said struggling to gather his feelings into words.

"I love you Cas, but it didn't happen over night. Its been happening for years now. I guess it just took me a minute to admit it to myself." he said. Cas looked up at him nervously.

"So if I was nothing you'd still love me?"

"Cas you were human and the only reason I didn't bundle you up and protect you from the world was because of that asshat Gadreel. And I've got to live with that. But don't ever think I love you because of what you are, I love you for who you are."

Cas let a small smile creep over his face. Dean rolled his eyes and pulled the stupid angel in for a kiss. And as Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and returned the kiss with his whole heart they both knew that nothing would ever be the same again.


End file.
